She Comes First
The book “She Comes First” by Ian Kerner, who holds a doctorate in clinical sexology, is a cunnilingus manual that teaches you the ins and outs of delivering mind-blowing oral sex to anybody with a vagina. Most men suck at going down on their partners and this book seeks to make them better. Lesbian couples, whom I acknowledge are less afflicted by this problem, should still read the book to improve on their head-giving abilities.
I should mention that Kerner has impressive credentials but, strikingly, he used to be a premature ejaculator. So, many guys can relate to and, hopefully, learn from him.
“She Comes First” is meant to give us vivid instructions delineating exactly how we should eat pussy. You won’t find a book that is as detailed and clear on the subject as it is. Throughout the book, Kerner presents us with a raft of anatomic information about the female sex organs to lay the foundation for us becoming skillful cunnilinguists. For example, did you know that the clitoris has 18 different parts?
In the second part of the book, he describes how you should eat pussy – the process and the techniques. One thing you will love about these techniques is that they cut across all skill levels thus addressing beginners, intermediates, and experienced lovers.
To his credit, Kerner recognizes that the main reason why most of us are bad at giving head is that we do not allow our partners to feel at ease as we go down on them. That’s why he proposes the three assurances that you should continuously give your partner to enable her to let go and savor the experience – for women, reaching orgasm is all about letting go.
Ultimately, I think this book is meant to alter your perspective not only concerning how you should eat pussy but also what sex for women is all about by presenting an alternative way to look at it – a new approach that you have hardly come across.
This book is divided into two parts. The first part introduces you to the female anatomy as well as attitudes towards eating pussy, and the second part shows you how to do it. Let’s go through each section:
This part acts as a prelude to the next part. The author has even suggested that you can skip this part entirely and still do well, but it would be to the detriment of you understanding how cunnilingus works. In essence, you wouldn’t grasp the procedures in part two as well as you should.
Here is a quick summary of the chapters:
Chapter 1: Discusses how most guys ignore or consider female orgasms an afterthought.
Chapter 2: The clit is more extensive than merely a “tiny love button.” It also has the most nerve endings of any body part.
Chapter 3: The clit is sexually superior to the vagina.
Chapter 4: Even vaginal orgasms stem from clitoral stimulation.
Chapter 5: The tongue is better adept at delivering pleasure than the penis.
Chapter 6: Discusses how attitudes towards female orgasms have changed over time.
Chapter 7: Who was Sigmund Freud and why is he significant to this discussion.
Chapter 8: The male genitalia is analogous to female genitalia.
Chapter 9: The author dissects the different visible parts of clitoris including how to identify them.
Chapter 10: The author identifies the internal parts of the clitoris that are unseen to us including what is analogous to the male shaft.
Chapter 11: The infamous G-spot and its role in clitoral orgasms.
Chapter 12: Everything you need to know about female ejaculation.
Chapter 13: Vaginal wetness and what that signifies in terms of arousal or lack thereof.
Chapter 15: The synopsis of the female sexual response. The author splits it into four processes that define the structure of the response. He then goes on to acknowledge that how it occurs is distinct in each person thanks to the “orgasmic fingerprint.”
Chapter 16: The author discusses vaginal scent. What should it be like and why are there variations? Some of us refuse to partake in oral sex because of our misconceptions regarding the vaginal scent. This part will help you understand everything and see things differently.
Chapter 17: The general attitudes towards oral sex are changing, again.
Chapter 19: Did you know you need protection to have oral sex? The author here discusses the different ways to practice safe cunnilingus.
Chapter 20: The author outlines the rules you should espouse to put your woman at ease if she has inhibitions about receiving cunnilingus.
This part of the book describes how you should give head. It goes deeper into the finer details of how you should position yourself, use your body, among other information. The author has done a great job of succinctly describing what you need to do and how you can deal with various situations. Think of it as a manual of oral sex.
Here are the summaries of the respective chapters:
Chapter 22: Introduces relevant terms.
Chapter 23: Discusses the stages of coreplay in chronological order.
Chapter 24: Shows you the common but incorrect positions men use to give head. Then the author shows you the right position that both you and your partner need to be in to do oral sex the right way.
Chapter 25: A refresher of the most sensitive parts (erogenous) that you should know before you get your tongue to work.
Chapter 26: Describes how you should initiate oral sex. It is basically how you transition from foreplay to cunnilingus.
Chapter 27: Shows you how you can get into a rhythm.
Chapter 28: Discusses the role of your hands. Learn how you will use them to augment the efforts of the tongue.
Chapter 30: Learn how to vary the rhythm and your pace with your tongue without breaking contact with the clitoral network.
Chapter 31: Learn about the clitoral cluster and how you can use your fingers to stimulate the erogenous zones.
Chapter 32: Learn how to maintain pressure the right way using a position known as the come-hither clasp.
Chapter 33: Learn the right way to take a break without letting her levels of arousal fall.
Chapter 34: The author discusses how you can ramp up the pressure as you guide her towards orgasm.
Chapter 36: The author outlines how you can tell whether she is close to orgasm including how to know whether it is genuine. Once you learn this, you will know when she is faking.
Chapters 37, 38, 39: These chapters deal with the pre-orgasmic state. What should you do when she is nearing the finishing line to ensure that she doesn’t lose her arousal.
Chapter 41: Now that she is undergoing the orgasmic contractions, what is your part in it? What should you be doing during this period? This chapter answers those questions.
Chapter 42: Learn how to make her achieve multiple orgasms.
Chapter 43: The author delves into how you can transition from cunnilingus to penetrative sex.
Chapter 44: This part involves how you can ensure that both of you orgasm at the same time.
Chapter 48: This chapter introduces routines for beginners, intermediates, and advanced guys. It summarizes the main method; you can think of it as a quick reminder that you can go over if you need a refresher.
Audio CD: $18.04
You can get the book on Amazon in whichever version you find convenient for you. If you have never bought a book from there, it is straightforward and the customer representatives are very helpful. One of the advantages of buying on Amazon is that you get to read other customer’s opinions before you commit yourself. But to be honest, it is an amazing book.